Last Chance
by zzzaney
Summary: I've always loved him. Truly I have. Love, hate, that just about covers it. Will I have one last chance to make it up to him?


Last Chance

Rated PG-15

  
  
"What's she doing here?" Ray stared at her with all the evil he could  
muster. Detective Kowalski looked around the table. Everyone had decided to  
go to the Classy Lady club to celebrate the 27th passing the Division  
inspection. The past month had been grueling.  
"She helped us pass the inspection too. Victoria put in alot of hard work  
over the past month. So I invited her. " He looked around the table at Lt.  
Welsh, Inspector Thatcher, Frannie, Vecchio and Fraser.  
Ray was about to say something but Lt. Welsh managed to interceed before  
things got out of hand.  
" I don't think there will be a problem with that " he looked directly at  
Vecchio "Right Detective?"  
"No sir" Ray grumbled.  
Kowalski held out a chair for Victoria "Thank you"  
  
For 5 months she had worked at the 27th as a civilian aid, and for 5  
months Ben had managed to aviod her while Vecchio went out of his way to  
make her life miserable. Everyone else had finally seemed to accept her- at  
least they weren't openly hostile anymore. At first they were adament about  
her not staying but after *alot* of hard work on her part they were finally  
comming around. Everyone except Vecchio that is. So here she was, talk about  
uncomfortable! She knew this was the last place she should be but she was  
desperate for a chance to see Ben, just to be near him.Victoria swallowed  
hard as she sat down. She looked around at everyone and when her eyes fell  
on Ben her face flushed. Ben was looking down at his glass and didn't  
notice.  


After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, the manager walked up.  
"Hey Tori, How ya doing? We haven't seen ya in a couple of weeks."  
Victoria smiled "Fine Chad, I've just been busy"  
"You want your usual?"  
"That would be great, thanks"  
He then took Kowalski's order and left.  
  
"So Victoria, do you come here often?" Inspector Thatcher asked.  
  
"Chad's a good friend of mine and I help him out whenever I can. In a way,  
he's kinda like a surrogate father to me."  
  
"Ah... I see"  
  
Victoria slowly sipped her water with lemon. No one could seem to remember  
what they were saying before she joined them and they were trying to make  
small talk. This was definately a bad idea she thought to herself. All the  
time she spent in the club, almost like a second home, and she couldn't  
believe she was sitting like a lump on a log! Ben looked like he wanted  
anything to happen. Explosion, mugging, even a rock through a window just so  
he would have a excuse to leave. Not that he would ever really wish  
something bad to happen to anyone.  
  
"Victoria" she jumped. She hadn't seen Chad approaching " Gracie just called  
in sick and Loretta has the night off. I called her place but there's no  
answer. Would you fill in for me?"  
  
Victoria looked around the table. All faces were staring at her. "I don't  
know Chad..."  
"Aw come on. You know I wouldn't ask if I didn't need to. Just one set, I  
promise" he gave her a woeful puppydog look.  
  
"O.k., but just one set"  
  
The rest of the table looked around at each other stunned. Ray was the first  
to recover "I can't wait to see *this*" sarcasam dripped from his voice.  
  
Victoria looked up at Chad "You owe me big time"  
  
"thanks Tori- oh, by the way" he swallowed hard "the costume is in the  
second dressing room"  
Victoria's face flushed as she stood to leave "big time" she thought.  
  
"Can I get you folks anything else?" Chad asked  
  
They shook their heads. "I didn't know she could sing" Frannie spoke that  
time.  
  
"Tori helps me out when she can. I really like that girl. It's almost like  
she's family. You know, she never once complains about it either. Despite  
her condition."  
  
"Her condition?" it was the firt thing Ben had said since she showed up.  
  
"Yeah- what , you guys didn't know?" He looked around at the puzzled faces  
and sat down in the now vacant chair.  
"Tori's dying, she has cancer. Known about for almost a year now."  


"Are you sure?" It was Lt. Welsh that spoke this time.  
" Absolutely, she tries not to make a big deal about it, but I know it  
bothers her. It would bother me. She tries not to let on about the pain."  
  
Ben looked frozen in his seat. 'dying, is that why she came back? Was she  
trying to make things right? Ben was brought out of his reverie by the music  
starting. The lights were low and Victoria came out of the corner of the  
stage singing a ballad. He couldn't help but notice how beautiful she looked  
in the ankle legnth deep saphire evening gown. There was a slit on the let  
side and when she walked, alot of leg was momentarily exposed. Her voice  
floated across the room and Ben was enthralled. He didn't move from his  
chair the entire time she sang, but if you asked him what any of the words  
were, he wouldn't have been able to tell you. To him, he was the only one in  
the room with her and she was singing only for him.  
She sang 5 songs before her set was over. No one quite knew what to make of  
her, except Vecchio that is. Everyone knew what she had done to both him and  
Ben but after working with her for the past few months, she didn't seem like  
the same person they heard so much about. Maybe she really was trying to  
change.  
As she was leaving the stage, the whole room erupted into applause. She  
really was quite good. Ben hadn't taken his eyes off her the entire time and  
as she left the stage he saw her clutch her side and stagger a little.  
Ray couldn't believe his luck. He figured if anyone deserved to die  
painfully, it was Victoria.  
"Should we tell her we know?" Welsh said  
There was silence as everyone considered the implimications of the question.  
"If she wanted us to know she would have told us" Frannie said,  
"Well, it's not like any of you made her feel at home now is it?" Kowalski  
answered.  
"I don't see what difference it makes, solves our problem..." Ray's voice  
trailed off as he saw the looks on everyone's face. 'Since when did I become  
the bad guy?'  
"detective- how could you be so cruel?" Ins. Thatcher gave him a hard look.  
"Hey Thatcher! You didn't see everything she did to me and Benny the last  
time she was here. She is nothing but a criminal and no matter how nice  
she's pretending to be now she's no good. You can let her snowball you if  
you want, but don't say I didn't warn you."  
Ben stood up and the argument died instantly.  
"You o.k. Fraser?" Wlesh knew from the way Ben had been acting that he still  
had feelings for Victoria.  
"I think I'll call it a night."  
"Do you need a ride Benny?" Ray's worried eyes studied his friend. He didn't  
mean to go off like that.Since she came back he knew it had been hard on his  
friend and he tried to atleast not say anything in front of Benny.  
"No Ray, thank you. I think I'd like to walk."  
  
Everyone mumbled their good-byes. The evening certainly took on a more  
muted tone, and no one really felt like celebrating anymore. Victoria walked  
up to the table, wearing her regular clothes. Her eyes were still a little  
clouded from the pain. She knew by the third song she should have stopped,  
but Chad was counting on her. Not only that she admitted to herself, but she  
also wanted to sing to Ben.  
When she approached the table, she was concerned that she didn't see  
Ben.  
"Hi" she smiled at everyone.  
"Hey- your pretty good Victoria"  
"Thanks Kowalski"  
She could see the long looks on their faces and knew that it must have  
had something to do with Ben being gone. 'I knew I shouldn't have come... at  
least I can do something about it now'.  
"Listen- I'm kinda tired and have a big day tomorrow, so I'm gonna call it a  
night".  
Kowalski started to stand "I'll give you a ride".  
"No, that's o.k., Fresh air will do me good" she gave a small smile to him  
and left.  
  
Monday morning arrived and Ben walked into the 27th. All weekend long he  
couldn't get Victoria out of his mind. 'Why didn't she tell me? You know  
why' he chastised himself, 'ever since she came back you've been avoiding  
her like the plague.'  
He couldn't get the image of her singing out of his thoughts. She was so  
beautiful, in a way, he was hoping she was singing just for him. Then when  
she was leaving the stage and he saw her pain... It was as if someone had  
ripped out his heart. It had taken every ounce of his being not to run and  
scoop her into his arms. He knew he had to leave before she came back or he  
would have broke down in front of everyone. Someone bumped into him and he  
realized he was standing in the doorway of the bullpen.  
Ben spotted Elaine and headed in her direction.  
"Oh, hi Fraser, Ray had to go out but he said to tell you he would be back  
in a little while"  
  
"Actually Elaine, I was looking for Victoria. Have you seen her?" Ben tried  
to keep his voice non-chalant, his features schooled.  
"She didn't come in today. She called to say she had to go to the hospital.  
I think her pain was alot worse".  
  
Ben looked suprised "You know?" He knew she wasn't at the club on Friday  
night.  
  
"Yeah, I've known for about a month" Elaine looked relieved she was finally  
able to tell someone "I found her on the floor of the bathroom. She couldn't  
even stand up that's how bad the pain was then. I promised her I wouldn't  
tell anyone. I don't know what happened on Friday night but everyone is  
talking about it".  
  
"Thank you kindly Elaine" Ben was out the door before she could say "Your  
welcome".  
  


Ben approached the information booth on the first floor of the hospital.  
"May I help you?"  
"Yes" Ben gave the lady one of his dazzling smiles " I'm looking for a  
Victoria Metcalf, could you tell me which room she's in?"  
The volunteer tapped a few keys on her computer. When she looked up, Ben  
thought she looked more empathetic.  
"She's in room 615"  
  
Ben paused outside the room, not quite sure what to say to her. He felt  
a hand on his shoulder and turned around.  
"I'm sorry sir, this is a restricted area, no visitors allowed unless your  
family"  
  
"Ah.. Dr." he looked at the name tag "Eyster- my name is Constable Benton  
Fraser. Victoria is ...and old friend of mine ... and, ah... I was just  
wondering how she was doing... I started to worry when she didn't show up  
for work today"  
  
The doctor walked over to the nurses station and picked up a file. Ben  
followed and nervously thumbed the brim of his Stetson waiting for the  
doctor to speak.  
"O.k., here it is... Ms. Metcalf has you listed as next of kin, I thought  
the name sounded familiar. Let's go in here, we can talk privately.  
When they were seated, the doctor started "I was beginning to wonder if  
Victoria had any friends at all. She was diagnosed about a year ago and we  
have been trying ever since to eradicate the cancer. It was pretty far  
advanced at the tine and is mow about 85% throughout her body. We've tried  
radiation, different medicines, she's one tough lady though. I've seen her  
get up after treatments that would lay a normal person out for at least  
three days and take a cab home. I've asked her before if there is anyone who  
can help her when she leaves, but all she says is that 'she's used to  
taking care of herself and that I shouldn't worry. Can you believe that ?  
She's worried about me"  
Ben felt sick, it took a moment for everything the doctor said to sink  
in.  
"H-how ling do you think she has?"  
The doctor looked hard at him, debating whether or not he could handle  
what he was about to hear.  
"Constable, three months ago I was suprised she was still living. I have  
know clue what's been keeping her going".  
Ben closed his eyes "Is there anything I can do?"  
"Help her. There are days she is so weak she can't even fix herself  
something to eat. Be there for her. If she pushes you away, push back. Just  
don't let her die alone. I think that's what she's most afraid of. Do you  
know she has already made all of her funeral arrangements? Paid for and  
everything. She said she didn't want a state grave and she didn't know if  
anyone else would care enough to see that she had a proper burial." Almost  
as an after thought the doctor added in a softer voice " That's a strong  
lady".  
Ben nodded "Can I see her now?"  
"one more thing, if you go through that door, you had better be prepared to  
see this through to the end. She doesn't need anyone to get her hopes up and  
then leave..."  
  
Ben took a deep breath and set his jaw "understood".  
He gently opened the door to the room and approached the bed. Victoria  
was sleeping and Ben studied her features. 'She's pale, her eyebrows are  
furrowed. It's as if she's in pain even asleep.' He pulled a chair up to her  
bed and sat quietly watching her.  
  
Victoria took a deep breath, opened her eyes and looked at the clock on  
the wall '7:30pm I guess I better get moving'. She knew Dr. Eyster didn't  
like her leaving after a 'bout' so he instructed the nurses to not help. She  
knew if she didn't want to spend the rest of her life staring at beige  
walls, she had to find the energy on her own. As hard as it is, the one  
thing that always managed to give her the strength to get out of that  
hospital bed was wanting to see Ben one last time.  
She slowly rolled on her side and gasped 'Ben'! What on earth was he  
doing here? His head was leaned back against the chair, tipped at an angle  
and he was fast asleep. Victoria felt her face flush and her body tingle.  
She was amazed that he could cause *those* feelings in her just by being in  
the same room. She smiled and shook her head.  
Carefully she got up, unhooked the IV (that's one part she never got  
used to) and went into the bathroom to change. She mused to herself why Ben  
was there and how he found out. After thinking over the events for the last  
few days, she came to one conclusion. 'Chad'. Boy was he going to pay. She  
never wanted Ben to find out. When she first came back she was hoping that  
he would want to be with her again. But after awhile, it seemed that would  
never happen. As a matter of fact, this was the first time she could think  
of that they were alone together. No matter, she thought. As long as I can  
see him, know that he's o.k., that was enough for her. The one thing she  
never wanted was for him to stay around her because of pity. When she looked  
into those beautiful blue eyes, she wanted to never see pain there. Only  
happiness for him.  
She turned at a sound "Ben! you startled me" He was standing in the  
doorway. His eyes were dark, sad really. "I didn't mean to wake you".  
  
Ben took a shaky breath "Why didn't you tell me?"  
Victoria looked down "What's there to tell? After the train I realized the  
only thing I ever wanted was to be with you, and I had totally screwed that  
up. So, I turned myself in and you know the rest. When I was serving my time  
I found out. Whoever said life was fair?" she managed a slight smile for  
him.  
She looked into Ben's eyes "Your turn...why are you here?"  
  
"I...I wanted to be with you. I have for a long time, but I was leery.I saw  
that you had appeared to change but I didn't know if I could bring myself to  
trust you again...I didn't want to be hurt again".  
  
Victoria was silent for a few minutes and leaned on the side of the  
sink. She hadn't planned on standing for so long and her stregnth was  
beginning to wane. "What changed Ben?" it was almost a whisper, as if she  
didn't want to hear the answer.  
" after I found out, I realized that the only thing that mattered to me was  
being with you. I love you Victoria...I always have..." He walked over and  
put his arms around her shoulders.  
Her whole body leaned into him. It had been so long, she felt his heart  
beating and silently started to cry. Ben rubbed her back and whispered  
comforts to her. He never wanted to let her go. Finally Victoria pulled back  
and Ben handed her a white kerchief. She dried her eyes and smiled up at  
him. Ben was here... with her.. how many nights had she dreamt of this just  
to wake up and find It was all in her mind?  
Her smile faded as reality intruded and she pushed past him into the  
room.  
"What's wrong?" he was at her side in two seconds "are you in pain?" The  
look of worry in his face tore her apart.  
"No...yes, I always feel some pain but that's not it" she turned to face him  
with tears in her eyes. "Ben, I don't want you to go through watching me  
die" she held up her hand to stop his protests "I love you too much to put  
you through this. It's worse enough that I have to go through it".  
Ben wrapped his arms around her tight. "No" he said, his face was set.  
"No?"  
"There is no way I am leaving you now. So you may as well get used to it".  
He smiled at her and there was no mistaking all the love he kept in his  
heart for her.  
  
"It won't be easy" she said, worry in her eyes.  
"We'll be together" he whispered in her ear.  
Victoria reached up and kissed him. Her whole body felt as if it could  
live forever as long as he was beside her.  
"Let's get out of here" she whispered, and they did. 

Back at Ben's apartment, Victoria sat at the table while Ben put on a pot of tea. She sat quietly for a while and then spoke the words that were on both their minds. 

"Ray isn't going to be happy about this." There. She had said it. 

Ben stiffened slightly as he considered her words. "He'll come around" he said and fervently hoped it was true. 

"Ben, I don't want to come between you and him again." 

"You wont" he quietly replied "this is between Ray and myself to work out." 

Victoria placed her elbows on the table and closing her eyes, rested her head in her hands. It had been a very long day and her strength was just about gone. She felt strong hands lift her into the air and place her gently onto the bed. Only then did she open her eyes. Ben was looking at her with anxious concern in his eyes. He took he shoes off and pulled the blankets up to her chest. Victoria held her hand up and motioned for Ben to sit on the edge of the bed. 

"I guess this is one of those 'worse' times I was telling you about." Victoria whispered as she gave a small smile. 

Ben smiled lovenly down at her as he took her hand in his. 

"For better or worse" he quipped. 

She caught on and added "in weakness and strength" 

"Happiness and sorrow" Ben said as he brushed a strand of her hair back. 

Victoria was barely audible now "till death do us part". A tear rolled down the side of her face as she closed her eyes and fell into a much needed sleep. 

Ben stayed on the edge of the bed for a long time making sure her breathing was normal, and then he stayed even longer to fill his eyes with the sight of her. The whistle of the tea pot finally drew his attention and he hurries to the kitchen to remove it before it disturbed her. Not really feeling like tea anymore, Ben took off his outer clothes and changed into his long john bottoms. Carefully, he moved Victoria over and settled in beside her. Her back was spooned against his chest and he breathed deep allowing himself to commit every single detail of her to his memory again. 

Ben laid there for hours thinking of how Ray would react, how long he would still have her in his life before she would be taken from him again, a lot of things. He knew when he walked through the door to Victoria's room he majorly altered his life. Even Diefenbaker refused to stay with him when he found out what Ben was planning. Ben hadn't seen the wolf all day and wondered who he ended up staying with. Kissing the back of Victoria's neck, he vowed he would do everything in his power to find a way to save her. 

Sometime during the night, he finally drifted off into a fitful sleep. 

** 

Victoria woke feeling nauseous and reaching for the glass of water she normally kept on her night stand was dismayed to only feel air. She opened her eyes and realized she wasn't at home. The memory of last night flooded her and she glanced at the sleeping form beside her. She knew what he was going to be going through when he decided to stay with her and more than anything didn't want him to have to choose between his friends and herself. It was one thing for them to be civil to her but she knew how protective they were of him. 

Carefully she managed to get out of bed and headed for the bathroom. She mused to herself how this apartment he had wasn't much better than the last one. She was glad this one at least had a full bath in it. She shut the door to the bathroom and hoped she could keep the noise down so Ben wouldn't wake. 

Victoria leaned over the toilet and wiped her mouth with some tissue and then rinsed her mouth out as best she could with water then mouthwash. She couldn't help but notice how she was throwing up a lot more lately and tried to ignore the implications. Finally she straightened her hair and clothes and walked back into the room. 

Ben was still asleep and Victoria couldn't help herself. He looked so cute lying there she had to lean over and give him a kiss. 

The movement of the bed caught Ben's attention and when he felt lips brush gently against his own he opened his eyes. 

"Victoria." Ben's brow furrowed and he started to sit up "are you all right?" 

She gave him a small laugh and pushed him back down. "I'm fine Ben, I didn't mean to startle you." 

"What are you doing out of bed? You should be resting." He said as he pulled her down to him and wrapped his arms around her. 

She gave him another small kiss "I *do* have a job to do you know, and as I recall, so do you."  
"But.." 

Victoria placed her fingers on his lips to stop his protests. "It's just the way it is Ben. I don't want to spend what time I have left sitting in some room watching the world through a window. Besides," she added "the bills don't pay themselves." 

"Give me a minute and I'll go with you" 

"I'm going to need to go back to my place to get changed first." 

** 

Ben was shocked to see her apartment. Ever since she had been back he had avoided her and didn't even know where she was staying. It was nicer than his but it was sparcly furnished. As if reading his mind Victoria spoke. 

"Since I wasn't going to be here long I didn't put a whole lot into fixing the place up. I just couldn't see the reason really-- Ben, are you ok?" 

He was standing there pale and she guided him over to the couch. "What's wrong?"  
Ben looked over at her with such a sadness in his eyes she felt her heart lurch "how can you talk so calmly about it?" 

"I've had a lot of time to think about everything Ben. Believe me when I say I don't want to die but what else am I supposed to do?" Her voice grew quiet and she continued looking at something in her memory. "For a long time after I found out I was devastated. I couldn't believe that I was going to leave this world and I had nothing to show for myself. I never had a chance to really live. All the years I spent in prison, then when I got out, doing what I did to you and Ray. I shut down. I decided not to eat, and tried to end my life a lot sooner. The next thing I know I'm being released on parol and I think to myself, here's my chance. I can do something now before it's too late. And that's why I came back. One of the people I was in prison with--Krista--she told me that everyone die's, but not everyone really lives. That stuck with me for a long time. So now I am doing my best to squeeze a whole lifetime of living into what? Days? Hours? It doesn't matter. As long as I do my best." 

Ben couldn't believe the change in Victoria and his heart swelled thinking of how much he loved her. If she could put aside the fact that her time was limited then he wasn't going to be the one to bring it up. 

Victoria kissed his cheek "I'm going to get a shower now." 

When she left the room he called the consulate and left a message saying he wouldn't be coming into work today. 

** 

Ben and Victoria walked into the 27th and more than a few people stopped what they were doing to stare. Victoria turned to face Ben after seeing the looks they were receiving. 

"Thanks for walking me to work Ben, but I think it would be best if you go. I don't want to start any problems." She looked around the bullpen and was relieved not to see Ray. 

"I called into work today, told them I wouldn't be coming in." 

"Why?" She asked anxiously. Didn't he know the reaction his friends were going to have? She didn't think he was that naive. 

He leaned closer to her and put his hands on her shoulders, slightly rubbing them and said quietly "they will find out sooner or later Victoria." He looked around at the people who had tried to act like they went back to work while glancing at the two of them "besides, it looks to me like they already know." 

She sighed and sat down at the desk she and Frannie share. 

"Hi everyone" Ben looked up to see Elaine walk in. He thought of how much she had learned and grew since she became a police officer. For the past eight months, she had been a detective and was transferred back to the 27th. 

"Hello Elaine" Ben said as he gave her a smile. 

"Hi" Victoria added. 

"Have either of you seen my wayward partner around this morning?" 

They both shook their heads no and turned when the doors to the bullpen opened. 

"Well there you are!" Elaine said in an exasperated tone. 

Kowalski gave her a smart aleck look and handed her a bag "well I would have been on time if I didn't hafta stop and pick you up your bagels." 

Elaine laughed "hey, when you make a bet, you otta be prepared to lose!" 

Ben looked at his two friends confused "what bet?" 

Kowalski fidgeted and looked down, " it was nothing" 

"I wouldn't say *that* now" 

Stan looked over at his partner silently pleading for her to let it drop. 

"Oh all right!" Elaine said in a huff. 

Stan relaxed and headed off to his desk. When he left she leaned over to Ben and Victoria "I'll tell you later" she said with a sly smile and left to follow him. 

While Victoria went to work Ben headed over to Ray's desk deciding to wait for him. It was unlike the Italian to be late for work. He looked back towards the door relieved when he heard the familiar voice. 

"....and when your done that, I want you to start on these..." Ben heard Ray say to Victoria and when he walked around the corner he saw his friend hand her a hugh stack of files. 

"I expect them by 3 o'clock." 

Ben looked horrified! There was no way anyone would be able to get all that work done by this afternoon. He started to say something but the look on Victoria's face stopped him. 

She looked back over at Ray who was standing there smugly "no problem" and she put the files on her desk beside the other pile she had to do. 

"Hey Benny! There you are." Ray said as he walked towards his friend "did something happen with you and Dief?" 

Ben looked back over at Victoria one last time before following his friend around the corner. "Why do you say that Ray?" 

He sat down as he flipped through his messages, "he showed up at the house yesterday morning and refused to leave. Been there ever since." 

"I'm sorry Ray, I hope he wasn't too much of a bother." 

"Naw, Ma's been doting on him" Ray leaned forward and folded his hands on his desk "so, what's going on?" The Detective's instincts didn't miss anything and he knew something wasn't right with his friend. 

"Nothing" 

"Uh-huh" Ray knew that since Victoria started working there Fraser never visited him at work unless it was really important. Then, he normally waited until she was out of the bullpen 

Ben started to fidget and decided he may as well get it over with "is there somewhere we can go to talk?" He didn't want Ray to be around Victoria when he told him the news. 

"Vecchio!" 

Both men looked over at the Lt. "In my office now." 

"Yes sir-- Benny, we'll pick this up another time." 

While Ray was in the Lt.'s office he sought out Elaine. 

"Hi Fraser" 

"May I ask you something Elaine?" 

She put the file down she was studying and looked up at him. She could tell something was bothering the tall Mountie. "What's up?" 

"I was just wondering" he said as he looked over at Victoria engrossed in the files. "Does Ray always give her that much work?" 

She followed his glance and it clicked for her. 'It was inevitable' she thought, after he asked her about Victoria yesterday. 

"Actually, I think he's going a little easier on her now that he found out she's dying. Normally he would give her twice as much." 

Ben blanched. All this time he had no idea Ray was treating Victoria like that. And the worst part was he was using his job as a way to make her miserable. 

"Listen Fraser" Elaine continued. "Don't go making trouble for her. She knows she has to ride this out and if you say anything it will just make it worse on her." 

They were interrupted by the Lt.'s door opening . Ray walked towards them grabbing his coat on the way out "we got a lead on Pitman. An anonymous tip says he's planning on coming back to Chicago next week. Let's go." He said to Ben. 

"Are you sure Ray? He is wanted for killing two police officers from the 23rd. Why would he come back?" 

"How should I know Fraser? Let's just hope this isn't a wild goose chase. I would love to nail that Bastard." 

As they headed out the squad room Ray didn't see the looks Ben and Victoria gave each other. 

** 

Ray sat in the riv sipping from a coffee cup intently looking at the door to a run down apartment building. Ben didn't know how to bring the subject up about him and Victoria now that he knew how Ray was treating her. Would it make everything worse on her? 

"All right Benny-spit it out." Ray said in an annoyed tone. 

"Spit what out Ray?" 

"You have been sitting here for the past two hours and have barely said ten words. What's bothering you?" 

Ben took a deep breath and looked over at his friend. "I noticed the files you gave to Victoria earlier." 

Ray was surprised to say the least that Ben would bring her up "so?" 

"Don't you think that's a little excessive? I mean, to have all that done by three o'clock, she would have to work straight through and that still may not be enough time." 

"Hey" Ray's tone was defensive "she doesn't have to work here, she can go to any other district to do her community service. Has she been complaining about the work?" 

"No, no... She hasn't mentioned anything as far as I know. I just thought it was...well. Some people who don't know you as well as I do might assume you were using your position to satisfy a personal grudge against her." Ben rubbed his earlobe as he spoke and didn't make direct eye contact with his friend. 

"And what if I was Fraser?" Ray's tone was even and low. "It's not like she wouldn't deserve it." 

Ben noticed a man coming out of the building. "Is that our man?" 

Ray looked over at the man who was quickly leaving the building. "Damn! Lets go." 

** 

Ben walked around half of Chicago that day trying to sort out all the feelings going through him. He knew Ray would find out sooner or later-- probably sooner-- and he didn't know what his friend would do to Victoria then. The next week would be fairly busy with setting up the sting operation. The source was confirmed and in a few days Pitman would be back in the city. 

When Ben returned to the 27th around six o'clock, Victoria was still sitting at the desk working on files. 

"Hi" he said quietly. Mostly everyone else in the room had left for the day and he pulled a chair up to her desk. 

She looked up and gave him a small smile. "Hi" 

"Did you even bother to eat today?" 

She paused as if to remember before answering "I wanted to get this done." She nodded towards the pile which was considerably lower. 

"Why don't you finish it up tomorrow? We can go home and I'll make a nice dinner."  
Victoria stretched back on her chair and reached her arms over her head. "If I do that, I'll never catch up. There will be even more then."  
Ben thought for a moment and picked up a file. 

"What are you doing?" 

He looked up at her with that innocent look he was so good at "helping". 

"You don't have to do that Ben, this is my job not yours."  
"Listen" he said placing her hand in his "you need to rest. Not eating and pushing yourself like this isn't helping you. Now if that means I am going to help with these files, then I am going to help. Understand?" 

"Thank you" she reached over and gave him a hug then started on the paperwork again. 

Together they had the files finished in no time. Ben decided to call a cab for them so Victoria didn't have to walk despite her protests, and as promised he cooked them a wonderful dinner. 

** 

The next day Ben was in his office catching up on his own paper work when Dief walked into the office followed close behind by Ray. 

"I was wondering when you were going to show up." He had directed the question to both of them. 

Ray shut the door and looked hard at Ben. 

"Fraser, what the hell do you think your doing? Are you really that stupid?"  
Ben knew that the news had gotten back to his friend and it was time to face up. 

"What do you mean Ray?"  
"You know damn well what I mean! Victoria! Everybody in the station is talking about it. Is that how I had to find out?" 

"Ray, I wanted to tell you yesterday...."  
"When was that Fraser? Huh? When we were sitting for two hours in the riv and you didn't open your mouth? Yeah, you really tried." 

"Ray"  
"I don't want to hear it Fraser. If you get involved with her again, then I don't want anything to do with you-- ever. You need to decide what's more important to you. Her or our friendship." 

"You don't understand Ray," Ben walked over to his friend he was practically pleading "she has changed. I didn't want to believe it at first but she has. The past two days with her have been..." 

Ray slammed Ben up against the wall "two days? You've been with her for two days? Is that why Dief isn't staying with you?" His tone was hard and he was glaring at Ben so intently that Ben had to look down. 

"It was his choice" 

"Well, for once I can say the wolf has got more sense than yourself." Ray let him go and walked over to the door. 

"I don't ever want to see you again Fraser, we're through you got it?" Ray walked out of the office and Ben stood looking at the spot his friend just occupied. He knew it was no use in running after him, his mind was made up. Dief looked up at him and gave a short bark, then followed Ray out the door. 

Dejected, Ben sat back down in his chair and buried his head in his hands. He just lost his two best friends. 

** 

Everyone was gathered in the Lt.'s office going over the sting. Harding Welsh looked around the room at everyone and pointed to a board "this is where our suspect is going to set up the buy. Huey, Dewey, I want you two here at the end of the alley. Besbriss and Kowalski, I want you guys on this roof across the alley, I want to know if anyone-- and I mean anyone--- comes down the street in our direction."  
"Yes sir" they replied 

"Vecchio, I want you and Fraser to already be in the alley way before our man shows up. You's will be here" he pointed to another spot on the board "you'll only have one chance to get this guy and I don't need to remind you he is a cop killer, he wont think twice of taking out any of you. So be careful." 

Welsh looked around the room "where is the mountie anyway?" 

Ray shifted nervously, "he wont be here lieutenant, it's just me." 

Welsh's eyebrows shot up at that but now was not the time to ask questions, they had a cop killer to bring in. "All right, take Smyser with you."  
"Yes sir" 

Harding looked at his watch, "we got two hours before he's supposed to show, let's get moving." 

They filed out of the office and Welsh leaned back in his chair wondering what happened between the two. It wasn't like the Mountie to leave in the middle of an investigation. It only took him a minute to decide and picking up the phone, dialed the number for the consulate. 

** 

Everyone was positioned around the alley as planned and having checked their communications devices, were waiting patiently for Pitman to show. Elaine's voice came over the frequency "heads up everyone, we got movement coming in from the west."  
They braced themselves as a black sedan pulled into the alley and stopped in front of the door. Two me got out of the front carrying heavy guns and after looking around to make sure all was clear, one of the men opened the back door. Pitman looked around as he stepped out of the car and Welsh's voice came across the radio. 

"That's our man guys be ready. Vecchio- you in position?" 

"I got a clear path" came the reply. 

"Wait for my signal" it seemed an eternity passed and the anxiety building in the cops was reaching an unbearable level. As the figures moved closer to the door. 

"Now!" Welsh yelled into the headset and everyone moved from their position. After yelling "police freeze!" they were ducking back behind the nearest object as gunfire erupted. 

One of the gunmen was taken out rather quickly by Huey and the other two were putting up quite a fight. 

From his vantage point on the roof behind Pitman, Fraser saw the whole scene. He edged closer to the corner and when Pitman stopped to reload his gun, made his move and leapt onto the unprepared man's back. Vecchio had managed to take out the second gunman and from the roofs vantage point, Kowalski yelled into the headset 

"Hold your fire! Hold your fire! It's Fraser! Fraser's out there!" 

He was struggling with the cop killer and the man had managed to get an advantage on him. Ben was pinned to the ground and Pitman was choking him. Everyone rushed from their position and grabbing the unarmed man, managed to restrain and handcuff him. 

Fraser laid there gasping for a few minutes, the bruises on his neck were already starting to show. 

Stan ran up to him "Fraser, are you ok?" He knelt down by the still prone form. 

"What were you thinking? You could of got yourself killed!" Ben managed to get his breathing somewhat back to normal and took the proffered hand Stan gave to help him up. 

Welsh and Elaine walked up. "Are you ok Fraser?" 

"I'm fine Elaine" his voice was hoarse. "Was anyone hurt?" 

"Only you Constable" replied Welsh "good job."  
"Thank you sir."  
Ray ran over to the group after they had Pitman secured in a black and white. "What the hell were you thinking Fraser? You just don't show up in the middle of a bust like that! You could of been shot!" He didn't want to mention that *he* was the one who could have shot him. 

The Lt. Interrupted before Ben could reply "I asked him to come Detective. He was familiar with the case and just because the two of you had some type of a falling out doesn't me I'm gonna let that interfere with work, you got that?"  
"Yes sir" Ray grumbled and glaring at Ben one more time, walked away. 

Harding turned to Ben "Constable, I want you to come down to the station and file a report. Kowalski, give him a ride ok?"  
"Yes sir" both men answered as he walked away. Elaine looked over at the two men. 

"I'm gonna catch a ride with Huey" she knew they were gonna need sometime to talk. She walked over to Ben and gave him a hug. Quietly she whispered in his ear "I will always be your friend no matter what"  
Ben smiled down at her and hugged her tight "thank you" he said and watched her leave. 

Stan stared at the dashboard of the Gto and waited for Ben to speak. When it became apparent he wasn't going to start he spoke up. 

"Ray's pretty upset about you and Victoria."  
"I know" 

He glanced at the mountie and looked down "is she worth it?" 

Ben drew a sharp intake of breath "she's the only woman I have ever loved. I betrayed her and she betrayed me. This is our chance to start over. To make things right. Ray doesn't understand that."  
Stan shifted to get a better view of the mountie. "Look I read the report on the case and I know what she did. I also know how she has been since she's been here and I think she's not a bad person. I think she's changed. I don't know how wise it is getting involved with her again but I want you to know I don't hold it against you. I'm here for ya Buddy."  
Ben's eye's welled with tears in relief. There were at least two people who were willing to stand behind him this time. He wouldn't be alone. "Thank you Stanley" 

"Yeah, whatever" he said coughing slightly and adjusted himself while starting the motor. Ben knew he was never good at expressing feelings and smiled slightly at the man's reaction. 

Back at the district, Pitman was put in holding and everyone was basking in the biggest take down they had in months. Vecchio and Huey were arguing over who's collar it was and who was going to get the chance to interrogate the man. Finally after fifteen minutes of that, Welsh decided to let both of them talk to Pitman. He shook his head as he went into the office. Sometimes they could be just like children. 

Victoria saw Ben walk into the bullpen and gave him a big smile. She was glad to see he hadn't been hurt. He walked up to her. "Hi" she said as she saw him approach 

He gave her a small kiss on the cheek "how are you feeling?"  
"Better now" she replied as she moved closer to him. 

"Ah--hum!" They were interrupted by a throat clearing loudly, Ben stepped back as Ray approached the two. 

"I need the file on Pitman now" he said as he gave Ben an evil look and pushed past the mountie. "Bring it to interrogation room one." 

After he left Victoria looked up at the pain she saw in Ben's eyes. "Oh Ben, I'm so sorry."  
"It's all right" he said taking her hand "it doesn't matter"  
she dug out the file on Pitman "I'll be right back" she said as she headed down the hall. Ben took out a piece of paper and on the typewriter, started on his report for the Lt. 

A uniformed officer was bringing the scum bag down the hall towards the interrogation room when he suddenly slammed the cop against the wall and grabbed his gun. Even with his hands cuffed he managed to get a pretty good hold on it and Victoria stood there no more that five feet from the man frozen. Someone yelled "GUN!" And everyone erupted in chaos as officers drew their pieces and took cover. Ray picked that moment to run out of room one and was almost face to face with the man. He didn't even have time to draw his weapon before the man had the gun pointed at him. 

Ben heard the commotion and ran into the hallway to see the woman he loved and his best friend standing precariously close to the cop killer and he also noticed there was no place for them to hide his stomach lurched as he tried to think of a solution. 

Ray looked hard at the man "your not going to get away with this Pitman, you pull that trigger and they'll kill you" 

"Then you'll go with me." A movement from the end of the hall caught his attention and while keeping the gun trained on Ray, he looked over to see Ben walk out into the middle of the hall. 

Ray yelled down to him "get back Benny" 

Pitman looked around wildly "you better do like he said or I'll kill him"  
Ben took a careful step forward "you don't want to do that"  
"yeah? And why's that?"  
"Because you feel bad about killing the other two police officers and I really don't think you want to kill another one" 

He actually snorted and looked over at Victoria who had up until this point managed to not draw attention to herself. 

"You-- come here."  
She shook her head no and Ben took a few more steps closer to the man. He *had* to get there in time. 

"I told you to stay back!" The man spat at the approaching figure. If only Ben could keep the man's attention drawn on him perhaps his friends could get away. 

"Put the gun down" he tried to keep his voice calm "you dont want to do this"  
the gun was still trained on Ray and Victoria was close enough to see the man start to squeeze the trigger. Ray's eyes grew wide as he realized he was going to die. 

"NO!" Victoria screamed as she threw herself between Ray and the bullet. 

"VICTORIA!" Ben called out as bullets from nearby guns brought down and killed the man. 

Victoria fell against Ray and they both fell to the floor from of the impact. She was in Ray's lap and he was screaming for someone to call an ambulance. 

Ben was by her side in two seconds. "Victoria! Oh God" he said through his tears as he tried to stop the blood flowing from her wound. "Why? Why did you do that?" 

Ray was sitting there in shock. She saved his life. After everything she did to him and put him through. He looked down at the woman and tried to help his friend stop the bleeding. There was no way she was going to die because on him, Damn her! Why did she have to go and do that anyway. 

"Ben... " she said in barely a whisper trying to get his attention "Ben.." 

"Shhh, love save your strength, you'll be ok." She shook her head no as a spurt of blood came from her mouth. 

"I love you Ben." 

She looked up at Ray and handed him the file that was still in her hand. Oddly she felt no pain but she knew she had to fix what she started and she was running out of time. 

Ray stared down at her. "Why did you do it?" His voice was full of disbelief, and anger. How dare she do something good and selfless. He had been right all these months treating her like a piece of shit and how dare she go and do something like this? He didn't want to think that he might have been wrong. 

"I owed you." She managed to choke out "please, we're even now." She took his hand and reached over to Ben for his. It took great effort but she managed to place them together on top of her chest. 

"This ends now." She said looking up at the two faces, her eyes were starting to glaze over "promise me" she begged looking up at Ray "your all he has. Please, promise me." 

Ray looked over at his friend who was still trying to stop the bleeding with his free hand. Tears were running freely down his face and he was begging her not to leave him. In that instant he made up his mind and looked back down at Victoria. 

"I promise. I'll always be there for him."  
She smiled and looked back over at Ben. Her breathing was sporadic now and she struggled to speak to him. 

"I fixed it Ben" 

He buried his head in her neck "yes you did" 

"I have always loved you" her struggle to breath stopped and Ben looked up. 

"NO!" He screamed. "Victoria, don't leave me, please don't leave me!" He cradled the limp form in his arms and rocked back and forth. "Oh God! Why?!" 

Ray was crying as much as his friend now and he wrapped his arms around Ben as his friends anguish tore him apart. The crowd that had gathered in the hallway didn't make a sound as the two men hunkered on the floor with the limp form. Off in the distance the sirens of an ambulance could be heard. 

THE END 

Comments always welcome. 

zzzaney@att.net 


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